A Way of Thought

Im thinking about the saved lifestyle. Im thinking about the saved walk. Im thinking about a saved woman. Im thinking about what it takes to be what it is God is calling me to be. Saved.. the meaning that's become demoralize in a new world generation that's on a new high. High off pleasure. They say whatever is flesh pleasing, I'll take that. Hmmm on another note don't let me get started with what folks doing up in the church house. Now that's a different story. But I'm still thinking about what it is to live saved. See I was once there. In front of the church with my hands held high. Proud to show everyone I was redeemed. But as proud as I was, I was talked about. People saying, oh congrats, I am happy for you one day and then the next day asking me if I want to party, drink, smoke and then the next day after that telling me I am brain washed.

They didn't know I was addicted to pleasure. They wasn't there when I inhaled it to my brain, gargled the hot water to take away the pain, felt what I felt; the skin that's softer than cotton. They wasn't there! This addiction that once controlled me. Oh... my Savior that found me. How could I not tell about Your greatness!?

I'm still thinking about being saved. Am I a great representation!? They say they will know them by their fruits. Am I a tree planted by the riverside or am I a tree surrounded by dry land!? Who's listening!? I still want to be saved...

So ya see, we're all searching. Looking for that one. Looking for some fun. Playing with fire and hoping to not get burned. Trying to do as much as we can before His return. A loss hope is the case that is at hand and the ultimate judge has the final say. So, how can you tell a person they are wrong for what they believe? How can you tell a person they aren't living right if you don't know their story? Why do we push people away, cut them with our words and judge?

All I been looking for is a push of encouragement but instead the ones close to me don't care if I slip back into the old me. Heck I think that's what they want. Crazy isn't it!? I turned my lifestyle around just to see the people around me frown!? Naw that can't be right..

Im not sure which hurts worse. Feeling like the world is accepting me or Christians rejecting me. Holding on to the side of the fence. All I need is a hand but people afraid to reach out, afraid to speak up. Sometimes yo brother need those sharp words to be cut up! If you love me then speak to me with the ultimate care and let me know by your actions that you are here. I seen people come and go, from the front pew to the back pew and right out the door. Stop them before its too late. All they need is a helping hand.. im just trying to be saved man...