Deep in my sin.. The devil had me pacing.. I fell for it again.. I thought I was done.. Have I been tricked? I just wanted to have a little fun.. Why is it that, what's bad has to feel so good? If it feels good, shouldn’t it be right? Who am I to question.. I already know the answer.. Just playing dumb.. This is no rule of thumb.. I am living beneath my means.. Not in between but on the wrong side.. Now I am feeling ashamed; time to hide.. Deep.. Deep into the sea of pity.. Trapped inside a city.. Full of a lustful eye, heartaches and cry.. I needed something to heal the pain.. So, as I take a hit of the mary jane.. I maintain.. Its steady chasing me.. The past of an evil eye.. Steadily trying to kill this evil guy.. The smoke hasn’t cleared.. Its like the same thing.. Year after year..
I have fallen.. Fallen so deep.. Deep.. Deep away.. Cast into the darkness of the day.. See, when the lights out I am fine.. It is late at night that gets me every time.. The demons come ah creeping.. Sex and drugs come ah peeking.. Peeking right into my sight.. Its not even a temptation when I dive right in.. Cant call me a fish if I don’t have a fin.. So, I sink.. Sink right to the bottom.. When I wake up its like I hear the devil say, "I already got em" I know I need help.. But what's the point of asking for help if I'm not going to change.. Now I'm just sitting here feeling crazy and derange..
Im young.. But how much longer can I keep using this as an excuse to keep living how I want? I said by the time I got to the age I am at now that I wouldn’t be living the same.. Looks like I'm doing the same thing.. Hmm pretty much insane because I'm getting the same results.. This is a life long test.. I know I'm not passing.. Because I'm not giving my best.. When its all said it done.. When they lay me down to rest.. What will my legacy be? What will I be remembered by.. A smoker? A cheater? A liar? An alcoholic? A back stabber? Fake? Back Slider?
One step away from my darkness turning into day.. I been praying.. But at the same time I just been saying.. Just talking and not enough walking.. So, here I am on these bended knees.. Reaching out for Your Holy hand.. All I need is one lift this time.. I wont make a promise that I will not sin.. But I will make a promise that I will give you my all until the end.. Here I am friend.. Laying down my life for real this time.. Because this time could be the last time and if it’s the last time then it’s the right time.. Its time to stay right.. Day and night I am putting up my fight.. Holy Ghost protect me.. Grace comfort me.. Mercy forgive me.. God you're all I have.. Thank you for putting me back on the right path!!!!
