Next Chapter

Here I am again.. New path, another chapter approaching, almost time to flip the page. I thought I was use to this but this time it feels a little different. Feels like I flat lined.. I was on the incline. Climbing life’s ladder but with one bad decision, I don’t even matter.. Every time I think about the decision, it makes me “madder”.. Ey, it was meant to happen this way. Hmm, that’s what they tell you to believe. I feel like the decisions that we don’t make are sometimes the decisions that we should have made. It’s a confusing concept but if you think about it, makes perfect sense. Should of, would of, could of its all written in the book now. See, when you had the chance you didn’t, now that you want to you can’t. That’s life!

What to do now.. Looking in life’s mirror.. All I see is myself and my wealth.. Preparing for this next chapter, I have to go chase after! To be successful and chase a dream you must first wake up. You have to see the reality.. Can’t stay sleep and chase your dream. No time to be a sleeper. This is the moment that you have to appreciate the most; the day to day struggle, the sweat and tears, pushing pass your deepest fears. This is your time to figure out if you really love what you’re chasing after. This is what I keep telling myself but am I listening!?

Thinking I need to switch it up but the love will not let me go.. This is all I know so how can I just let it go!? In life there comes a time where you must embrace change. I always ponder on why life cannot go the way I want it to. I believe this is what we know to be a fantasy. Lord knows my life is far from that. Writing the lines on the last page but before I turn, there’s a question that sits on my heart. Should I fight or should I let it burn!?

The true reflection of my life is this.. Whenever I take matters into my own hands and stop letting God be the driver is when not so good outcomes occur. The moments when I sin and do not repent and keep repeating the sins that I know I shouldn’t be doing is when not so good outcomes occur. The moments when I keep holding on to the past and not living for the present is when not so good outcomes occur. God wants us to truly live for Him and make our decisions through Him.

When you are called and anointed by God you cannot live life like everyone else. Yes, a person living however they want to may look like they are having the time of their life, happy, but trust me they are missing something. If God is not the head of our lives then we will always be missing something. Once we accept Christ in our life, we must change and live a life for God. Yes, the Christian journey is a struggle and a fight. There will be many temptations that we must overcome but what we must understand is, fighting for Christ is the best fight one can fight. We have to live through God and for God; this is the only way our lives will flourish..

*Flips the page!*

God bless

A Way of Thought

Im thinking about the saved lifestyle. Im thinking about the saved walk. Im thinking about a saved woman. Im thinking about what it takes to be what it is God is calling me to be. Saved.. the meaning that's become demoralize in a new world generation that's on a new high. High off pleasure. They say whatever is flesh pleasing, I'll take that. Hmmm on another note don't let me get started with what folks doing up in the church house. Now that's a different story. But I'm still thinking about what it is to live saved. See I was once there. In front of the church with my hands held high. Proud to show everyone I was redeemed. But as proud as I was, I was talked about. People saying, oh congrats, I am happy for you one day and then the next day asking me if I want to party, drink, smoke and then the next day after that telling me I am brain washed.

They didn't know I was addicted to pleasure. They wasn't there when I inhaled it to my brain, gargled the hot water to take away the pain, felt what I felt; the skin that's softer than cotton. They wasn't there! This addiction that once controlled me. Oh... my Savior that found me. How could I not tell about Your greatness!?

I'm still thinking about being saved. Am I a great representation!? They say they will know them by their fruits. Am I a tree planted by the riverside or am I a tree surrounded by dry land!? Who's listening!? I still want to be saved...

So ya see, we're all searching. Looking for that one. Looking for some fun. Playing with fire and hoping to not get burned. Trying to do as much as we can before His return. A loss hope is the case that is at hand and the ultimate judge has the final say. So, how can you tell a person they are wrong for what they believe? How can you tell a person they aren't living right if you don't know their story? Why do we push people away, cut them with our words and judge?

All I been looking for is a push of encouragement but instead the ones close to me don't care if I slip back into the old me. Heck I think that's what they want. Crazy isn't it!? I turned my lifestyle around just to see the people around me frown!? Naw that can't be right..

Im not sure which hurts worse. Feeling like the world is accepting me or Christians rejecting me. Holding on to the side of the fence. All I need is a hand but people afraid to reach out, afraid to speak up. Sometimes yo brother need those sharp words to be cut up! If you love me then speak to me with the ultimate care and let me know by your actions that you are here. I seen people come and go, from the front pew to the back pew and right out the door. Stop them before its too late. All they need is a helping hand.. im just trying to be saved man...