"Where Am I??

Lost.. Lost up in the world. Lost up in the things that I shouldn't be caring about.. Worrying about.. What has happened to my strong mind? With time.. The evolution of man kind began to wear down on me. Those lonely Friday and Saturday nights in the house alone, no one there to pick up the phone besides the ones that’s looking for different clubs to roam. I was over that but this time I said to myself it will be a little different. I'll just take a seat in the club, no I'll just stand by the wall or post at the bar. Intertwined with two different worlds fighting in my mind I seen something walk across so gracious yet so fine. So, this time the gravitational pull got a little stronger and I told myself I don’t know if I can hold on much longer.

The battles and trials and the miles that I've walked can all be gone in one second, for a moment of pleasure. This life it is not fair. I never have fun anymore. All of my friends talk about me. They say, "you can still be saved and club." "You can still drink and go to Heaven." "You can have sex. I still do. All I ask God to do is forgive me." …… I listen to them but I know what's right. God saved me out of the darkness of the night. That Holy Ghost power leads me into making the right decision, but every time I sin I get weak with a blurry vision. Each test that I lose, a part of me dies, a part of me cries. I am trapped by what to do and what not to do, by what's wrong and what's right, by how much can I get away with and still be considered saved.

I have noticed that everyone I know wants to half way do it. They all think they can live the way they want to and make it to Heaven. Who is the fool here? The person that does what they want everyday and ask God for forgiveness before they go to sleep or the person that steps out on faith and tells of God's amazing grace? You see if you can hold on a little while longer, God will step in and make you stronger. If you can get through your everyday nights, God will give you the strength to fight. You will receive the power to say no but first you must sow.

Don't let your friends hold you back or stop you from living a life for God. Everyone that says they're a Christian and saved will not make it to Heaven but you my friend know what to do and can make it. Stay strong and on fire for the Lord. God has a special plan for you. Never forget it! God bless!

2 Peter 2:9 " The Lord does not delay His promise, as some understand delay, but is patient with you, not wanting any to perish, but all to come into repentance."

"I Will Wait For You" This powerful poem is a must see!!

God is going to work it out for you!!

Don't be afraid to say no. Don't be afraid to be by yourself. If you need alone time to get yourself right then my friend give yourself that. Don't allow yourself to latch on to another human for emotional support. God said, that is what I am here for. See you have allowed yourself to latch on to humans and you see where that has got you. So ask yourself this, "when is the last time I latched on to God??"

What you must understand my friend is God will never do you wrong. While you keep trying to figure out love and life on your own, God is already got it figured out. It is us who has lack of patience which causes us to go for what we know. Thus again we find out what we know is nothing at all. When we take matters into our own hands usually we come out hurting. When you put your all into the hands of God you come out smiling.

I've learned that God has a lesson for us all and through that lesson lies our blessing. See if you never went through anything then how could you grow? God said I allowed you to go through that so I could let you see what I saw. Ha how good is God? He allows us to go through things in life just to better our lives.

My friend, do not rush at all. It is in rushing where you miss out on building on key steps for your life and relationships. If God say its for you then it will be for you but in order for it to be for you, you must first walk up right with God. Never allow yourself to get in the way of what God is preparing for you. So step back for a change. Try something different. Don't always go for what you know. If you are scared then you are lacking faith. Have all the faith in the world and smile because God is working it out for you! Be blessed my friend!

Words of Wisdom

The time keeps ticking. And me, I'm no longer beating to my own drum. No longer do I do it my own way. Ha. That got me no where. Stuck in a hole with no one to dig me out. It all started with me. See the man is the head of everything and the woman reacts off of the man. Women are unstable when it comes to their feelings. They easily act off of their emotions. You have to work hard at keeping them happy but ya know if you make them feel special and make em feel as though they are the only girl on the planet then you'll never have any worries. That's the key; putting in the work to make em feel special. If you do what it takes you will not have any breaks. If you want that relationship to go how it started then you have to put in the work. Do not hold back. When God places something on your heart to say, do, then you have to do it. Step up to the plate and give your best swing. You might not hit a home run but if you get to 1st base then that's progress. You'll make your way around to home plate. Just play it smart and make great decisions and you'll be fine. Life is about learning from all of your failures and mistakes. You'll be a liar to say you never failed or never made mistakes. We all have. Its a part of life. What you have to do is apply to your life what you've learned and you'll become a much wiser person. Keep getting better. Life is all about progression and being the best that you can be. Stay real!

Scotty

Man... I Cant do this Anymore.. I give up!!

These words picture the page. I sit in rage. Mad from the outcome. Am I still saved? Ah, I look around. Arms strapped across my body. Man, I done went insane. This time I acted out of anger. So regretful. In that moment I was so hateful. They ask me, "What was you thinking back there?" They must didn’t see  what I saw. I fought to change but still things stayed the same. People still judged, people still hated, people betrayed, no one getting saved, no encouragement just a bunch of debates. Was everything I was doing wrong? They act like the way I was living was a sad song. I did it all for you. Laid my life down for my friends. Still none of em changed. What did I not show them enough to believe in the One? Its been 6 years and still they're trapped. Doing the same routine on the same map. Now I done back fired. Walked up in there with a drink in my hand. "What are you doing?"

I'm rocking to the beat. Is something wrong, is my outfit to neat? I thought this was the place to be. So then tell me why it's all eyes on me? "Hey aren't you the guy that sends out those notes on facebook?" "Hey are you MrMotivation25 from twitter?" I keep it moving. I got my cup in my hand, two step; I'm just grooving. I'm trying to have me a good time. Sip..Sip.. "Man this some good wine." Looks like I'm apart of the crowd this time. Done being on the mic. No one hears me any way. This is good bye today.

So I take her home. Looks like I found me a good one. Me and her, we going to go at it all night to her favorite song. I think this is the life. Back at it baby tell me where to stop. Dang I was missing out. All those college parties. All of those hotties. What was I thinking Scotty?? I should have been living it up. Shoot everyone believes their saved and going to heaven anyway. I should have been joined this party. Club after club, drink after drink. I guess I didn’t think.. It really don’t take all of that to be saved. Hey I can just ask God for forgiveness and He'll forgive me.

Everyday living. A lot of sinning. Sometimes talking to God. Doing what I want. Messing with whoever I can. Thinking that I am the man. That’s what its all about right. "PLEASURE!!"- Doing whatever we want and asking for forgiveness at the end of the day. This is what we have come to. For one second if you thought I have stopped living and being on fire for God then this note did what it had to do. FOOL YOU! Because this is what the devil is doing. Fooling you! Will you come out of your sinful lifestyle or will you keep doing whatever you want? The choice is in your hands. Remember tomorrow is not promised and life is too short so what shall you do? My friend its time to get saved, be baptized, and start living right! I am praying for you. Keep praying for me. God has something special in store. Do you believe???

What a Love!

I want to fall so deep. Deep in love. I want to dive to the bottom of the sea. Find your treasure chest and unlock it with the key, of your heart. Our love doesn't have to be hidden. Trust me our past doesn't even matter; its forgiven. Let's go where we always dreamed of. To our fantasies. Others don't think real love exist so they diss. But you my Miss. Soon to be my Mrs. I see something for real. This isn't some original ordeal where we date to break and break to re date. This is God given love. Sent down from only the Heaven above. Its an angel and it's guardian cording together on love cords.

Listen to the music play. This is our song. *You by Jesse Powell* We're dancing. The moment so slow but so perfect. Your eyes full of the joyous tears. I wipe em away and tell you we overcame our deepest fears. We took a leap of faith. We didn't play it safe. *The record is still spinning.* All eyes on us as we both blush. Everything we thought it would be plus some more. Oh does heaven adore. They dance with us. Those pearly gates are shining down upon us. We are on one accord. Hook together for ever. *Ting ting ting.* We kiss. A Holy bliss. "Thank you God for my perfect gift!" I say to you as you spin gracefully in my arms. I never knew a love like this exist. Now I see that all those times on my knees that it was you I was praying for.

They all doubted. "Hey baby, did you see the way they all shouted?" As we walked down the aisle. It was as if we floated. Those 5 seconds felt like 5 days. Slow moment. We captured fear. We put it in the rear. Not did we just talk the talk. We walked. No longer bound to temptations. Now free to express the love that is so strong. So this honey moon. Whew!! its going to be so heavenly. Let's live as if we are the only two on earth for a week. Let us seek. Go above and beyond. Get it heated but not get so hot that something gets to cooking in the oven. Okay I'm done talking, let's get to the loving! ;)

Deep In My Sin God Snatched Me Out!!!

Deep in my sin.. The devil had me pacing.. I fell for it again.. I thought I was done.. Have I been tricked? I just wanted to have a little fun.. Why is it that, what's bad has to feel so good? If it feels good, shouldn’t it be right? Who am I to question.. I already know the answer.. Just playing dumb.. This is no rule of thumb.. I am living beneath my means.. Not in between but on the wrong side.. Now I am feeling ashamed; time to hide.. Deep.. Deep into the sea of pity.. Trapped inside a city.. Full of a lustful eye, heartaches and cry.. I needed something to heal the pain.. So, as I take a hit of the mary jane.. I maintain.. Its steady chasing me.. The past of an evil eye.. Steadily trying to kill this evil guy.. The smoke hasn’t cleared.. Its like the same thing.. Year after year..

I have fallen.. Fallen so deep.. Deep.. Deep away.. Cast into the darkness of the day.. See, when the lights out I am fine.. It is late at night that gets me every time.. The demons come ah creeping.. Sex and drugs come ah peeking.. Peeking right into my sight.. Its not even a temptation when I dive right in.. Cant call me a fish if I don’t have a fin.. So, I sink.. Sink right to the bottom.. When I wake up its like I hear the devil say, "I already got em" I know I need help.. But what's the point of asking for help if I'm not going to change.. Now I'm just sitting here feeling crazy and derange..

Im young.. But how much longer can I keep using this as an excuse to keep living how I want? I said by the time I got to the age I am at now that I wouldn’t be living the same.. Looks like I'm doing the same thing.. Hmm pretty much insane because I'm getting the same results.. This is a life long test.. I know I'm not passing.. Because I'm not giving my best.. When its all said it done.. When they lay me down to rest.. What will my legacy be? What will I be remembered by.. A smoker? A cheater? A liar? An alcoholic? A back stabber? Fake? Back Slider?

One step away from my darkness turning into day.. I been praying.. But at the same time I just been saying.. Just talking and not enough walking.. So, here I am on these bended knees.. Reaching out for Your Holy hand.. All I need is one lift this time.. I wont make a promise that I will not sin.. But I will make a promise that I will give you my all until the end.. Here I am friend.. Laying down my life for real this time.. Because this time could be the last time and if it’s the last time then it’s the right time.. Its time to stay right.. Day and night I am putting up my fight.. Holy Ghost protect me.. Grace comfort me.. Mercy forgive me.. God you're all I have.. Thank you for putting me back on the right path!!!!